Ahem

Cough.

The Other Texas Football Team

I don't know much about football, but anybody who paid much attention to the 2008 football season saw how important a quality backup quarterback is to winning championships.  Texas's other football team,* ironically referred to as "the Texans," decided to trade away their quality backup.  Besides my burgeoning affection for the Other Texas Football Team, I point this out to you because I thought you'd be interested in what the Minnesota Vikings gave up: a fourth-round draft pick.

You read that correctly.  Not two draft picks.  Not a first-round draft pick.  Not a player to be named later.  "Mr. Rosenfels, we appreciate what you've done for us the past two years, but we think you're worth the equivalent of an unproven Division II left tackle."

But like I said, I don't know much about football.

 

*Texas's football teams being generally recognized in this order: Dallas Cowboys, UT Longhorns, A&M Aggies, Midland High, Baylor Bears, Houston Texans.

Causation Joke

So I'm sitting in Advanced Crim Pro today, and we're talking about how Gerstein violations result in exclusion only if there is a causal connection between the violation and the evidence.  [This is really just a lame lead-up to what I think is a funny quote.]  That got me thinking about this quote from Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency:

The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.

You can take that to the bank.  The moral of the story is that the space-time continuum is

. . . very like a piece of badly put up wallpaper.  Push down a bubble somewhere, another one pops up somewhere else. . . . The only thing that really gets hurt when you try and change time is yourself.

Ah, Douglas Adams.  You left us too soon.

Who's afraid of a little paradox?

Those who've been watching LOST lately are probably thinking a lot about paradoxes and what-ifs.  My personal favorite paradox is the compass.  Alpert gives Locke the compass c. 2004, but Locke gives Alpert the compass (via time travel) in 1954.  If Locke got it from Alpert, and Alpert got it from Locke, where did it come from?

To help explain, here's a nice humorous quote dealing with time travel and paradoxes:

If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond.  And many of course don't.  It's like a human body, you see.  A few cuts and bruises here and there don't hurt it.  Not even major surgery if it's done properly.  Paradoxes are just the scar tissue.  Time and space heal themselves up around them and people simply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make.

Thus spoke Douglas Adams, so it must be true.

Wii are post-PC

So while my fellow travelers read through hundreds of pages of pretrial procedure and evidence law, my neighbor came over today to make sure his Wii didn't get blown out by the storm last night.  And I beat the Mirror Lightning Cup on Mario Kart Wii.  For those of you who don't know, this means that I have now won everything there is to win on Mario Kart Wii.  I now have only to unlock the three remaining characters by flying through levels super-fast on time trials.

It's so good to be post-PC.

In the Beginning

Ah, ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you two unique groups.

The first: Baylor's 1Q's.  They are bright and shiny, happy, excited about The Law.  Rah rah for them.

The second: Baylor's 6Qs, 7Qs, and 8Qs.  They are a little duller, sadder, and sedated about law than are the 1Qs.  They are entering the PC Cave.  Unless you witness for them---which you should---you probably won't see them again until August.  It's too late now to say your goodbyes.

The 1Qs are learning the prose of the law: nouns and pronouns, verbs and adverbs, sentence structure, and the like.  Those entering the PC Cave are learning the poetry of the law: iambic pentameter and blank verse.

I wish I could tell you how great it feels to be post-PC.

Deadball Era II

For those of you who still turn to me as your source for important news, Sports Illustrated reportedly reports that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids back in 2003.  On a side note, it's alarming that several of the big-name homerun-hitters caught up in the steroids era played at one time for the Rangers: Jose Canseco, Sammy Sosa, Alex Rodriguez.  What's next?  Are people going to suspect Nolan Ryan's 27th season?

Probably not.  I feel blasphemous even typing that.  The only drugs Nolan Ryan took were Alleve. 

Anyway, the Yahoo! article asks an important question.  Many were looking to A-Rod to save the sport, but now . . .

[W]hat’s left for baseball, which now looks to a future where a suspected steroid cheat will pass a confirmed one?

What's left, indeed?  I don't know . . . a return to fundamentals?  A return to good pitching and strong defensive teams?  An era where we can name more famous pitchers than hitters?  I, for one, hope so.

Defalcation isn't as gross as it sounds

Today's Dictionary.com Word of the Day is defalcate.  I thought "C'mon . . . everybody knows what defalcate means.  We do it every day."

Or not.  The trouble with quasi-homonyms is that they're tricky.  Five points if you can guess what I was thinking.  I'll put the answer five lines down, in white print.

 

 

Defecate.

Harry Potter XLIII

While the rest of the world watched Super Bowl XLIII, those at Chez Masten watched Harry Potter IV: The Goblet of Fire.  I just wanted to point out that I love Ralph Fiennes.  He may be my hero.  Even when he plays Voldemort.  But I also wanted to say that if you're trying to get through the Harry Potter series, hold on till you get to the fourth book.  The Goblet of Fire is the book that cinched the series for me.  After I read The Goblet of Fire (or HP4 as those in the know call it), I was hooked.  The night I read the scene with the third task in the Triwizard Tournament, I stayed up and read something like 300 pages.  Over the next week, I read HP5 and HP6 (whatever their real names are).  That's right.  Something like 2000 pages in 10 days.

I thought that was really impressive until I took Practice Court.

Black-n-Silver Domination

Anybody who talks much basketball with me knows how much I dislike a certain NBA team near Hollywood (and I'm not talking about the Clippers).  But I have to give Kobe Bryant some kudos; he complimented my team:

The Spurs are our rivals.

You should always feel good when people get excited about beating you.

And one piece of Spurs-Lakers lore.  According to Dave McMenamin of NBA.com, either the Spurs or the Lakers have made the NBA finals every year since 1999 except 2006, when the Mavericks lost to the Heat.  Go Spurs Go!

Running Down a Dream . . .

. . . that just might come to me.

Today, my partner and I---colloquially known as either "Team 29" or "Team 39"---rocked the house in our big trial.  Normally, I'd be too reticent to tell you that we won, but I have an ulterior purpose.  We won . . .

. . . no thanks to Justin Scott, who resisted my invitation to testify.

. . . no thanks to Mike May, a/k/a Mikearoni, a/k/a Mayonesa a/k/a Mikeanesa, a/k/a Mayoroni, who also resisted my invitation to testify.  (If this fellow had a blog, I'd link to him.)

And that's about all I have to say about that.

Quarter 9 Beckons

I registered for my ninth and final quarter of law school today.  So close, I can smell it.  Here is my beautiful schedule:

• Client Counseling.  This is a class I've been meaning to take.  I think I can benefit a lot from a class like this, and I plan to extract everything I can out of it.
• Advanced Criminal Procedure.  I've been avoiding taking this class, but I finally decided that it may be beneficial for a lot of reasons.  I wrote my article about a statute in the Texas Penal Code, and I thought the issues in criminal law were really interesting.  This past summer, I spent six weeks working in a criminal section of the Department of Justice, and I thought the viscerality of criminal law was compelling, even in such a cold area as tax fraud.  So here we go---learning about double jeopardy.
• Criminal Practice & Procedure.  This should be a really interesting class full of practical learning.  It will complement Advanced Criminal Procedure.
• Civil Liberties.  Another class I've been avoiding, I think this will be a very helpful class.  I feel the need to vindicate myself after my showing in Con Law.  Go 14th Amendment!

And that, my friends, is it.  For those of you keeping track at home, this means I won't have classes on Mondays.  Which means, most importantly, that I will have time to look for a job in the foreign land of Maryland.  If you know anybody looking, let me know.

Big Stars Big Budgets Small Payoff

My parents got me the Jurassic Park Adventure Pack for Christmas.  Did you know there was a Jurassic Park III?  Earlier tonight, I watched The Lost World, starring Jeff Goldblum and giving Vince Vaughn one of his earliest biggest roles.  I just finished watching the third (and apparently final) installment in the franchise, and I'm pretty shocked at some of the stars in here.  Of course, you have Sam Neill and a reprise of Laura Dern as Dr. Ellie Sattler, but you also have William H. Macy and Tea Leoni (first major role?) and, my personal favorite, Eduard Delacroix (credited as Michael Jeter for some reason).

While I was looking at the IMDB page, I noticed that Joe Johnston directed it.  That name should ring some bells.  He's only directed 11 movies, but that hit list includes:

• Honey I Shrunk the Kids (1989)
• The Rocketeer (1991)
• Jumanji (1995)
• October Sky (1999)

I can see a lot of parallels between HISTK, Jumanji, and JP3.  He was supposed to direct the eagerly anticipated JP4, but that apparently fell through with the passing of the revered Mr. Crichton.

By the way, if you haven't seen (or didn't know there even was a) Jurassic Park III, give up hope.  It's pretty good until the last 10 minutes.  It's like they hit the 74-minute mark and ran out of money or something.  The Navy/Marines do a quick amphibious landing just as Dr. Grant et al. wander out onto the beach.  Then boom---the credits roll.  Which is sad because for 74 minutes, I really thought this could be a great movie.

The Jurassic Park series sadly falls into that much too large category of series that should have remained single stories.

You Don't Mess with the Number 23

Based on this review, Yes Man sounds like Adam Sandler's nostalgia-induced run as Zohan. I think the two actors are actually pretty similar. Both got their starts on comedy skit shows. Both made their names doing inane comedies. And both are stellar actors who can do so much more than just zany comedy. My personal favorite Carrey movies are The Majestic and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  (The latter may be my favorite movie of all time.) And as for Sandler, his role in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, lacking his usual over-the-top humor, was great. Don't get me wrong, I love Liar, Liar and Mr. Deeds, but . . . Maybe these two guys should move on and start keep making real, good movies?

This is why we love him

Greg Maddux has retired.  Everybody in baseball loved him, or should have.  Except Yankees fans:

In fact, perhaps the biggest decision of Maddux's career also came at the winter meetings, when he spurned a higher offer from the New York Yankees for a five-year deal with Atlanta during the December 1992 session in Louisville, Ky.

And that is why we love him.

New Love

I always think it's hokie when people say "I just want to try cases."  But I think I just want to try cases.  During Practice Court, I've had the opportunity to try four cases from opening to close.  I have to say that it's about the funnest thing I've ever done.  I say "about" because, let's face it, sitting around playing Mario Kart is a lot funner than researching the ambiguities of Rule 106 or chapter 74.  But trying cases is still one of the funnest things I've ever done.

And I've won at least three of my cases (the jury's still out on the fourth), and hearing the verdict read in your favor . . . it's nice to win now and again.

UPDATE: I won my last trial (Monday night) and advanced to the octafinals of the Top Gun Tournament.  I tried my case again this afternoon.  Jury is still out but I'll know later tonight.

UPDATE II:  The jury came back on Wednesday and handed me my first loss.  4-1.  Not bad.  I fought hard, but I guess not hard enough.

Unexpectedly Great Movie

My wife and I rented The Visitor from Blockbuster because we thought it sounded interesting.  I didn't know anything about it.  I don't ordinarily enjoy movies with a message, but after watching this movie, I wholeheartedly recommend watching it.  Maybe you don't care about the plight of immigrants in America.  But you should.  Our nation was built by immigrants, and only selfishness and delusions of grandeur make us think otherwise.  If you don't care about the plight of immigrants, I beg you to watch this movie with an open mind.

I leave you with two quotes from two of the smartest men ever to run our country:

We set this nation up . . . to vindicate the rights of man. We did not name any differences between one race and another. We opened our gates to all the world and said: “Let all men who want to be free come to us and they will be welcome."

- Woodrow Wilson, July 4, 1914

America was indebted to immigration for her settlement and prosperity. That part of America which had encouraged them most had advanced most rapidly in population, agriculture and the arts.

- James Madison, August 13, 1787

I hope we never forget that we are a nation of immigrants, indebted to immigrants, descended of immigrants.

Late Night TV for All

Continuing on my Michael Crichton theme . . . A&E is airing a made-for-TV version of the Crichton classic The Andromeda Strain.  Although A&E bills it as starring Benjamin Bratt, fans of good television will recognize the faces of Christa Miller, fondly known as Jordan Cox on the great Scrubs, and Daniel Dae Kim, otherwise known as Jin Kwon in what may be the greatest television show of all time, LOST.

If you hurry, tonight's second airing starts in six minutes (as of this writing).

UPDATE: I am happy to announce that none other than Eric McCormack (Will of Will & Grace) and Rick Schroder (Nurse Paul Flowers for 4 episodes of Scrubs) are also on the cast.  Stay tuned for more excitement.

Crichton on Science

My junior year, I wrote a paper about C. Wright Mills's book, The Power Elite.  While writing that paper, I learned and thought more about power than I ever had before.  Power is a fascinating topic.  As always, Michael Crichton contributes to the discussion:

"You know what's wrong with scientific power?"  Malcolm said.  "It's a form of inherited wealth.  And you know what assholes congenitally rich people are.  It never fails."

Hammond said, "What is he talking about?"

Harding made a sign, indicating delirium.  Malcolm cocked his eye.

"I will tell you what I am talking about," he said.  "Most kinds of power require a substantial sacrifice by whoever wants the power.  There is an apprenticeship, a discipline lasting many years.  Whatever kind of power you want.  President of the company.  Black belt in karate.  Spiritual guru.  Whatever it is you seek, you have to put in the time, the practice, the effort.  You must give up a lot to get it.  It has to be very important to you.  And once you have attained it, it is your power.  It can't be given away: it resides in you.  It is literally the result of your discipline.

"Now, what is interesting about this process is that, by the time someone has acquired the ability to kill with his bare hands, he has also matured to the point where he won't use it unwisely.  So that kind of power has a built-in control.  The discipline of getting the power changes you so that you won't abuse it.

"But scientific power is like inherited wealth: attained without discipline.  You read what others have done, and you take the next step.  You can do it very young.  You can make progress very fast.  There is no discipline lasting many decades.  There is no mastery: old scientists are ignored.  There is no humility before nature.  There is only a get-rich-quick, make-a-name-for-yourself-fast philosophy.  Cheat, lie, falsify---it doesn't matter.  Not to you, or to your colleagues.  No one will criticize you.  No one has any standards.  They are all trying to do the same thing: to do something big, and do it fast.

"And because you can stand on the shoulders of giants, you can accomplish something quickly.  You don't even know exactly what you have done, but already you have reported it, patented it, and sold it.  And the buyer will have even less discipline than you.  The buyer simply purchases the power, like any commodity.  The buyer doesn't even conceive that any discipline might be necessary."

Hammond said, "Do you know what he is talking about?"

Ellie nodded.

"I haven't a clue," Hammond said.

"I'll make it simple," Malcolm said.  "A karate master does not kill people with his bare hands.  He does not lose his temper and kill his wife.  The person who kills is the person who has no discipline, no restraint, and who has purchased his power in the form of a Saturday night special.  And that is the kind of power that science fosters, and permits.  And that is why you think that to build a place this is simple."

"It was simple," Hammond insisted.

"Then why did it go wrong?"

Jurassic Park, (New York: Ballantine Books 1993), pp. 306-07.

I quoted that at length just in case you, like me, remembered Jurassic Park as just an interesting book about dinosaurs.  There's some serious criticism of modern science in there.

Thought for the Day

I think all the professors who are banning laptops from their classrooms read Jurassic Park.  The movie is excellent; the book is even better.  Way back in 1990, Michael Crichton wrote:

In the information society, nobody thinks. We expected to banish paper, but we actually banished thought.

Back then, people probably thought he was an alarmist.  Maybe some people still do.  "Laptops help you think by putting information at your fingertips!"  Or maybe they just help you take down every single word the professor says, which is way too much information to be helpful.

Or, and I'm walking out on a limb here, maybe you just want to chat with your friends and check your email.