Monday, December 11, 2006

Freaky Big Town/Small City Hypothesis

DISCLAIMER - I have lived all but 5 of my 23 years deep in the heart of Texas, and I have not died a gruesome death yet. Waco is a wonderful place to live (maybe).

I'm reading Stephen King's It*, and I'm developing a theory. I call this the Freaky Big Town/Small City Hypothesis. It has only one theorem: Waco = Derry. Why am I developing this theory? Allow me to enumerate:

- Waco We Do
- David Koresh
- the 1953 tornado
- fiery plane crashes with surprisingly scary pictures
- Republican President represented by a Democratic Congressman
- The First Waco Horror (TSHA, Waco History Project, NAACP, NPR)
- the Lake Waco murders
- Queso the Cat
- the NoZe Brotherhood
- Toad-biting dog dies
- the flypaper effect (e.g., my parents and my wife's parents have absolutely no connections to Waco prior to being transferred here by their employers; now they've stuck around for over 20 years each)
- Waco's Enron
- Finally--a Waco lawyer named Scott Peterson

Now--remember my disclaimer. I grew up in Waco and I haven't noticed anything like Derry's vigintiseptennial horror (that's what King should have called It)--but then again, I'm only 23.

I'm thinking about writing Waco's third true crime novel (after The First Waco Horror and Careless Whispers, both linked to above at their sales pages). I plan to call it: "Waco: We Ain't Comin' Out . . . Alive." If you have any stories about voices coming out of drains or photographs winking or clowns with balloons that float against the wind or even a plain old ghost story, I'd love to hear it. Post it in my comments. I may give you co-author status if it's a good enough story.

* Still.


RG said...

I have a story about a possessed house. It's awesome. It's also long. I should email it to you, you'd get a kick out of it.

It was in Hewitt, though. Does that count?

avacadojer said...

I grew up in Hewitt! There was a house down the street that showed up on Unsolved Mysteries. Send me your story. I love a good haunting Hewitt story...

Yee said...

I have a haunted house story too, but it was in New Jersey. I'm a normally scientific-minded person, but that house has made me believe in ghosts to this day. I'm sure it's not as awesome as rg's but I'm bored and don't want to start Contracts...

My childhood best friend (Angela) had the house next to mine. Her mother's parents lived with them because her mom was a nurse and they were very sick. They both died in the same room, in the same corner. Later, her dad's father moved in (same room) and complained of hearing voices and seeing things. Ang and I thought it was ridiculous at first. Then things turned Sixth Sense on us. The creepy highlight was when one of her battery-powered games started going off in the middle of the night while we talked about her dead grandparents (in another room). I took the batteries out and it kept going until we started crying. It was horrible.

To this day, Ang is afraid of that room (we heard a lot of the things in there). And now I'm all freaked out again.

ALV said...

WTF? I read every single one of those articles (homework? what?) and the MOST disturbing thing of all was what passes for normal in Waco:

"Stankey’s outdoor dogs at home made a habit out of biting toads, foaming at the mouth a little and going back to normal."

Holy hell. That ain't normal.

I also have a Waco story - my car tries desperately to keep me from coming back here. So far when I've been leaving Dallas to come back to Waco, I've had 2 flat tires (on two different occasions), and I almost died in a freak trailer accident the day I was moving (a trailer attached to the back of a truck driving in front and to the right of me started throwing sparks and then detatched, while we were both going 60-70 mph. The trailer flew left across 4 lanes of highway, hit the median wall, and then skidded and sparked its way directly back at me, and it and my car stopped inches from each other. And what do I do? Keep on truckin to Waco! I should have listened to the trailer - it knew about all of the toad problems.)

Um, and I have a problem with giant cockroaches, but I don't like telling that story because it makes it sound like I live in filth. Seriously, my apartment is really clean! I think that maybe my neighbors are disgusting and that's how the cockroaches get attracted to my building. But we're talking giant - 1 1/2 to 2 inches long. Ugh, makes me want to DIE. I shouldn't say that too loud in Waco, I'll be dead in the morning.

Hehe, my word verification word is sodwog.