Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

I'm a big fan of some of our justices on the United States Supreme Court.  I generally like Clarence Thomas, mostly because of his audacity to be a staunchly conservative black man in a hugely public position.  Whether I agree with his ideas or not, that alone is worth my respect.  I also like John Roberts and Sam Alito, though I think mostly because of their upbringings in blue collar and immigrant families, respectively, and their rise to the most powerful tribunal in the nation.  They represent the American dream.  Most of the justices on the Supreme Court right now represent the American dream, and I can dig it.

What I can't dig is acting like those accused of committing crimes and the police are on equal footing.  The New York Times today published an article about America's exclusionary rule, which basically says that, if the police break the law when they're coming after you, then the State can't use whatever evidence they find because of that illegality against you in court.  Apparently, some of our more conservative justices (the article mentions only Scalia and Roberts, but I'm sure Thomas and Alito are on board as well) are starting to think that's maybe that's not a good idea.  Apparently, we need to help out the police.

Or maybe not.  The United States government has a budget with 13 digits.  That's $2,900,000,000 for FY2008.  My wife and I have a personal budget with only five digits: $x0,000.  But there's more.  Let's say I get under investigation for some tax crime.  The U.S. has U.S. Attorneys and all their staff trying to prosecute me, with IRS special agents investigating me, and the advice of the DOJ Tax Division helping out too.  If we assume that just one person from each organization is chasing after me, that's three highly qualified and experienced people going against me, a law student with almost no experience in the courtroom or in police investigations.  Maybe I can retain a lawyer, but the chances that I can afford a lawyer who specializes in tax criminal defense---to help even out the playing field---is pretty slim.  We're talking about David and Goliath.  And I'm David.  Only I don't have any stones for my sling.

The only stone for my sling is the exclusionary rule.  Take that away, and I've just got a string.

Brokeback Rant

Does anybody remember March 2006?  That spring, I was living in Brownwood with my wife, working for a family lawyer, and spending most of my weekends hanging out with our best friends there, who happened to be from Wyoming.  In the fall of 2005, the movie Brokeback Mountain, with Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway, and Michelle Williams came out and caused a lot of controversy.  (Mostly, I think because we were all trying to figure out whether we'd cheat on Anne Hathaway with Heath Ledger.)  Then in March 2006, Crash won the Oscar for Best Picture, and the author of Brokeback Mountain, Annie Proulx, got so upset that she wrote a scathing critique in the Los Angeles Times the New York Times U.S.A. Today Newsweek U.S. News & World Report London's Guardian of the "conservative heffalump academy voters" who chose Crash for Best Picture instead of the movie based on her short story.*  At that time, I had seen neither movie, and didn't really have any intent to see either.  I find that "Best Picture" is generally a euphemism for "Least Fun Picture."

But last fall, I watched Crash with my wife and loved it.  (Then again, I'm a sucker for anything that's about race relations.)  Then tonight, Brokeback Mountain came on Bravo, so we watched it.  And I have to say: I agree with the conservative heffalumps living in Los Angeles.  Crash, while maybe not the best movie ever, was just a better movie than Brokeback Mountain.  Before you close this window and call me a homophobe, listen to my complaints.

1.  No Development of the Relationship.  I expected more buildup toward the relationship between Jack and Ennis.  Instead, one night, Ennis gets drunk, forgets to go back out to the sheep, and sleeps inside the one-man tent because it's cold.  While in the tent, Jack reaches around and grabs Ennis's hand and--boom--you have a twenty-year-long relationship.  Even James Bond has to work harder to get laid.  Since we're talking about two cowboys in 1960s Wyoming, I expected a lot more buildup, a lot more desperation.  In Crash, the central aspect of the film was the intersection of all these lives, and the movie painstakingly establishes those intersections in every scene.  The relationship in Brokeback Mountain just didn't get developed enough.  In fact, most of my complaints center on the relationship.

2.  Unrealistically Sexual Relationship.  Apparently, Jack and Ennis's relationship, though it lasted 20 years, was mostly about sex.  When Jack comes back to Wyoming to see Ennis four years after their first tryst, the very first thing they do is kiss passionately.  In what becomes a boring pattern, Ennis didn't really introduce Jack and Alma.  The two cowboys couldn't even be around each other in mixed company for fear of jumping each other's bones and revealing the true nature of their relationship.  We've all known men and women who hid sexual relationships for years.  Are they less passionate than Jack and Ennis?  At any rate, the physical aspect of their relationship clearly was key.  If anything, the movie furthered the stereotype that homosexual relationships are only about sex and not about enjoying each other's company and learning to navigate life's tricky river together.

3.  Too many plot lines and conflicts that never got resolved.  Did Jack's wife ever figure it out?  What happened after he stood up to her dad?  Why did he cheat on her with another rancher's wife?  Why not with the rancher, who was clearly making a play at him?  How come only Ennis's older daughter ever came to see him?  Why did Ennis take his own shirt back at the end?  And what does Ennis swear to Jack?

4.  Movie with a Message.  I HATE movies that are made because the people who make them only want to make a point or convey a message.  Especially when they want to convey a controversial message.  ("Look at me--I'm so controversial!")  Crash is like that, but it's saved from being hated because I like stuff that deals with race relations.  Example #2:  I liked The Kingdom;  I hated Syriana.  If your movie happens to convey a point, that's fine.  Just don't make the whole project about telling me something.  I felt like the idea was to make heterosexuals see that homosexuals are "just like you."  Eh.  Didn't quite work for me.  Rent did a much better job.

That's it.  Thanks for reading my rant.  If you got this far, email me and I'll give you a coupon for half off my legal services after I pass the bar.

 

 

 

*For those of you who wonder why I struck out all those American newspapers: I found it very cowardly and generally un-admirable that Proulx wrote her report in the Guardian.  If you have a problem with something in America, don't complain to people in Paris London about it.  I'm all about free speech, but I dislike people who complain just to complain.

Go Rangers

It hasn't been this much fun to be a Rangers fan since . . . since the summer of 1993.  (The strike of 1994 ruined baseball for me until last year.  And last year wasn't fun.)

And I haven't appreciated a Ranger as much as I appreciate Josh Hamilton since the days of Pudge.  Now Mr. Hamilton just needs a cool nickname.  Any ideas?  I'm thinking "Second-Chance Sam" is too cheesey.  Where's Chris Berman when you need him?

Anyway--the Rangers were down 4-2 with two outs in the bottom of the 9th tonight, when Michael Young singled in Ramon Vazquez, setting the table for Hamilton's walk-off homer.  The final score?  5-4 Rangers.

We probably won't make the playoffs, but we can enjoy beating the Angels any day.

Two Items of Note

1.  Washington, D.C., is the kind of city where you kinda always wish you had your camera.  I was walking today around 5th & Pennsylvania NW looking for lunch with my group of computer trainees.  We stopped at an intersection, and I glanced off to my left.  There, rising behind the squat office buildings, stood the Washington Monument.  I kinda wished I had my camera so I could post a picture for you.

2.  Washington, D.C., is at the latitude where the sun comes up really stinkin early.  Back home, I always got up 15-30 minutes before sunrise, usually about 6:00.  Here, my alarm goes off at 6:30, and my bedroom is ablaze in (what I would call) mid-morning glory.  For the second day in a row, I nearly had a heart attack when I woke up in such a bright room, thinking I had grossly overslept and was going to get fired from my summer internship.  Thankfully, that hasn't happened (yet).  Strangely enough, the sun sets late, too, usually after 9:00 p.m.

The New Capital Punishment: Sterilization

One day when I was a paralegal, I was thinking about how a background in psychology would really help a judge or lawyer.  After all, wouldn't you better be able to tell when people are telling you the truth?  Then I realized that law is, at its essence, applied psychology.  So here is some interesting psychology about the death penalty*:

In their comprehensive study of homicides, the leading evolutionary psychologists Martin Daly and Margo Wilson note that most homicides between men originate from what is known as “trivial altercations.”  A typical homicide in real life . . . begins as a fight about trivial matters of honor, status, and reputation between men (such as when one man insults another or makes moves on another’s girlfriend).  Fights escalate because neither is willing to back down, until they become violent and one of the men ends up dead. . . . .

. . .

Incidentally, this is why the death penalty may not deter murder.  The logic of the death penalty assumes that most murders are premeditated.  A potential murderer carefully and rationally weighs the costs and benefits of the act, and decides not to murder if the costs outweigh the benefits.  This might describe a fictional murderer on Columbo, but not real-life murderers, who do not stop to think before escalating their trivial altercations into fatal fights.

The logic of the death penalty also assumes that execution is the worst fate possible.  From an evolutionary psychological perspective, there is something worse than death, and it is the total reproductive failure that awaits any man who does not compete for mates in a polygynous society.  If they compete and fight with other men, they may die, by being either killed by the other man or executed by the state.  If they don’t compete, however, they will definitely die, reproductively, by leaving no copies of their genes.  So they might as well compete even at the risk of death; the alternative is much worse.

So you see, capital punishment may not deter because death is always a risk when choosing to enter any activity.  Interestingly, this may explain why sterilization seems so cruel and inhumane.

Pierce's 3

The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton

rating: 4 of 5 stars

Take Ocean's 11, throw in some Godfather, and set it in 1850s London, and you've got The Great Train Robbery.

Other reviewers talk about plotting and characterization and diction; I'll let you read their reviews for that. I want to communicate that this book offers something that few books offer: genuine, thought-provoking fun. Much like Ocean's 11. Mr. Crichton uses the book to make a statement, but the statement isn't blatant, like you might see from movies like An Inconvenient Truth or Syriana. Rather, Mr. Crichton draws his characters in such a way that you (realistically) grow fond of those of whom you should not grow fond--and therein lies his statement. For example, the hero/villain is a master thief, both of money and of class. He is a fraud, a liar, and a cold-blooded killer. But you love him like you love Danny Ocean or Vito Corleone.

Mr. Crichton's message, I believe, is that good and evil are not so clearly cut as we tend to think. But he doesn't tell you that in a boring way full of rumination. Rather, he tells it in the fascinating story of the perfect heist, much like Ocean's 11.

View all my reviews.

No Rhythm, No Rhyme, No Fun

A few years ago, I read an essay in Newsweek about how nobody reads poetry anymore because we're all too lazy to give it the effort it needs.  Well, I disagree.  Nobody reads poetry anymore because (a) it's too complex to get on the first reading and (b) we all have better things to do than read a boring poem twice.

Yesterday, I began reading Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass.  Several times in the first 50 or so pages, Mr. Carroll interrupts the narrative with a poem, usually spoken by one of the characters.  For example, Alice recites the following to a blue caterpillar on a mushroom:

'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak/For anything tougher than suet;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--/Pray, how did you manage to do it?'

'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,/And argued each case with my wife;

And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,/Has lasted the rest of my life.'

Now, I don't have any idea what that means.  But I enjoyed reading it, and I enjoyed typing it.  The poem is just plain fun to read, so I will read it again.  Shakespeare's sonnets are another example.  Who doesn't enjoy reading those crazy 14-liners?  I don't even mind reading Emily Dickinson a few times to try to get what she's saying.  Rhyme + Rhythm = Fun.

Other poets, on the other hand, like T.S. Eliot, don't make any sense on the first reading, and it's just not fun enough to try to read it again.  No rhythm + no rhyme = no fun.  People don't read modern poetry because it's too hard and not fun enough.

I realize how shallow this probably sounds, but if modern poetry were more entertaining, maybe people would read it more.  If you're going to write boring syncopated prose and call it "poetry," don't complain when nobody reads it.

Finding your Passion

From a Psychology Today article:

Many people have at least one . . . passion. . . . [F]or those who are seeking this sense of fulfillment, there are a few tricks, suggests Todd Kashdan, a psychologist at George Mason University. The first step is to commit to learning a bit about a subject. Passions don't arrive like bolts out of the blue. They build slowly, through the process of gradual mastery. "Passion and interest, the research is clear, come out of practice and expertise," says Peterson.

As a greenhorn, you also have to put up with feeling like an idiot—to tolerate and laugh at your own ignorance. "You must be willing to accept the discomfort and negative feelings that come your way," says Kashdan.

In fact, those butterflies in your stomach will probably be the first sign that you've hit upon a potential pursuit, says Streeter. "The thing that scares you the most tends to be the most fulfilling," she says. "It doesn't have to be something great. It has to be something that you aren't sure you can do."

Later:

We spend so much time experimenting with foods, with different ways to organize our houses, and so little time experimenting with all the ways we can act as a person.

Just some interesting thoughts for those of you who've hung around long enough.

I've Got Questions

You'd better have answers.

Why would a parent take their small child to child support court?  How does it benefit the child's fragile world to let her hear her daddy complaining about taking care of her?

I just want to know.

Where Amazing Happens

I guess Kobe didn't have it in him.  Pau Gasol tried to help, but nobody gave him any credit.  You heard it here first: the Celtics have won the NBA Finals, beating the L.A. Kobes Lakers in six games.  There's something amazing about the story of a team that goes from the second-worst team in the NBA (only beating the Memphis Grizzlies by two games) to national champions in one year.

So it's not as sweet as if the Spurs won it, but it'll have to do.

Senseless

I don't get it.  The Phoenix Suns only made it to the playoffs, so they fire Mike D'Antoni.  The Dallas Mavericks have the best record in the NBA over the past three years, so they fire Avery Johnson.  Now the Mets (who probably won't make the playoffs and don't have a stellar record and will probably be remembered for a few years for their incredible choke at the end of last year) have fired Willie Randolph.  If you ask me, that doesn't really make sense.  A manager/coach can only play with what he's got.

But I guess I'm old school.  I prefer giving a coach a chance to learn from his mistakes and develop a persona.  Look at Tom Landry.  Tommy Lasorda.  Gregg Poppovich.  Phil Jackson.  These are guys who, while they may not always be taking home championship rings, have developed personae that make their teams better.  Everybody benefits when you give coaches a chance to develop, just like everybody benefits when you give players a chance to develop.

That said--I'm behind Ron Washington 100%.

Outer Counties

The child support office where I work is in Waco, but we handle cases from several other counties, including Mills, Hamilton, Bosque, Falls, Freestone, and Limestone.  These other counties are referred to as "outer counties."  I thought it was merely a geographical reference, until I overheard this conversation in one of the outer-county courthouses:

[AAG:] So I hear he's trying to get custody.  How likely do you think that is?

[Customer:] Well, he doesn't like how I've handled my daughter's relationships.  He thinks she and her step-brother are getting a little too . . . intimate.

[AAG:] I see.

[Customer:] But I don't think it's a big deal.  I mean--they're not blood-kin.

Ah yes.  Outer counties indeed.

Putting Hair on Your Chest

Today, I watched a 25-30 year-old-boy take one more step toward manhood.  I don't really know how you define manhood, but I think it has to do with taking responsibility for your actions.  This boy can't keep a steady job.  So he's fallen pretty far behind on his child support.  So we put him in jail.  (We have programs that can get him a job quickly, and then he'll get on work release.)  This boy took the trouble to create a child, but now he doesn't want to take the trouble to make sure that that child lives the best life it can.  That's not being a man; that's being a child.

So I got to thinking about whether putting him in jail is the right thing to do.  Will that help him take the next few steps toward manhood?  I think it will.  I grew up hearing that certain food and drink would "put hair on your chest," meaning that it tasted terrible or would otherwise ruin your night.  The adversity of the experience would make you stronger.  I just hope that spending a few weeks in jail will put some hair on this boy's chest.  If nothing else, his kids deserve it.

Blind-sided

From our Brother Sol:

Here is something else I have learned: The fastest runners and the greatest heroes don't always win races and battles. Wisdom, intelligence, and skill don't always make you healthy, rich, or popular. We each have our share of bad luck. None of us knows when we might fall victim to a sudden disaster and find ourselves like fish in a net or birds in a trap.

I watched a contested divorce hearing today in the 220th District Court of Hamilton County. They've been married about ten years. One night, he came home from work. She was dealing with the kids and cooking dinner. He kissed her on the cheek and asked how everything was. She sighed and stirred the pot on the stove. "We need to talk after dinner."

She fed the kids while he watched the game, then she cleaned up the kitchen while he put the laundry in the wash. That night, after all their chores were done and their teeth had been brushed, she told him again: "We need to talk." Over the next three hours, she argued that she just wasn't happy in their marriage anymore and that she needed more from life than he could provide. All the things people tell each other and themselves when they just can't take it anymore. Two days later, she filed for divorce.

I don't blame him for being irate on the stand. I don't blame her for leaving him. I only wonder how they got there.

Celtics 1, Lakers 0

I am torn equal parts between being tired of Boston winning everything (World Series, Super Bowl runner-up, MLS Cup runner-up) and hating the Lakers for (a) beating the Spurs and (b) employing Kobe Bryant.  I like Pau Gasol, but I find the Celtics' Cinderella-season more compelling.  So while the rest of the world pees their pants waiting for Game 2, I'm torn to ambivalence.  Go Spurs Go!

Play the Hand You're Dealt

Why is the location of the invention of Dr Pepper an empty lot?

[The former site of Morrison's Old Corner Drug Store near 4th & Austin], now an empty lot, once was the site where Dr Pepper was invented in the 1880s.

If we can find the answer to that, I think we'll also figure out why Downtown Waco is in such bad shape as it is.

It Ain't Braggin . . .

***LOST SPOILER ALERT***

If you watch what may be the greatest show in television history, then you know that Michael died and that Locke is in the coffin.  Interestingly, people think that's final.  But I don't think it is.

I've often wondered whether I should read the last page of a book before starting it.  Would the symbols mean more?  Would the craft of the storytelling hold my attention?  Or do I need suspense to keep paying attention?  Lost answers that question straight on.  The writers of Lost have already told us how things end.  Season 4 is about getting off the Island, Season 5 is about getting back on, and Season 6 is about something I can't remember.  We knew at the end of Season 3 that Jack and Kate got off the Island.  Maybe Season 4 was about answering that question.  If we know how it ends, will we keep coming back to the middle?

So far, I--and a lot of other people--keep coming back.  And that, my readers, is why Lost may be the greatest show ever.

Why I Love the Spurs

This guy explains it well:

Look, Manu [Ginobili] isn't Jordan. He's not Kobe. He's not LeBron. Rooting for guys like that is unimaginative and frankly, boring. They won the genetic lottery. They're bigger, stronger, faster. Wheee. Root for them and you might as well root for McDonalds and Nike (shockingly companies those guys endorse or have endorsed). You might as well cheer for Team USA in the Olympics against Team Argentina. I have no use at all for people like that.

 

Manu isn't your favorite player because he's perfect.

 

He's your favorite because he's not.

 

He's Rocky. He gets knocked down. He loses. He fails. He occasionally does really stupid shit in really important games.

But he cares. You can see every second he really fucking cares. Even in the regular season when 99% of people affiliated with the NBA, including the fans, don't care, he does.

And that's that.

The Sun Also Sets

Alas.  The Spurs eliminated themselves.  The Lakers (although they played well) did not beat the Spurs; the Spurs beat themselves.  A 20-point lead in Game 1?  A 30-point loss in Game 2?  They finally showed up for Game 3, but Game 4 was a disastrous heartbreaker.  Then last night, they let the Lakers nibble at a 13-point first-quarter lead until the last two minutes, when the Spurs finally woke up.  But too little, too late, and the Spurs are out.

I'm interested to see what next year's Spurs will look like.  Hopefully, they won't be as dumb as the Mavericks and fire Poppovich.  They just need to do something to get younger and faster--they couldn't keep up with the Lakers' speed, and they barely stayed up with the Hornets.

Finally, I think it worth noting that the pre-Gasol Lakers were 30-16, winning 65% of their games.  The post-Gasol Lakers were 27-9, winning 75% of their games.  Bryant was the constant, and Gasol the change.  Who should really have been MVP, if you had to pick a Laker?

Bucket of Pepper

Most of what I do each day is watch a lawyer mediate a child support dispute, then draft an order representing the agreement the parties reach.  I don't think I'd want to do it forever, but so far it's been fascinating to watch these real people with their real problems find real solutions.

Mom X is having trouble with Dad X paying his child support.*  Notably, courts order child support, so failing to pay child support can lead to a finding of contempt, and that means jail.  There are dozens of cases where dad stays out of jail by hand-paying his child support each month at the courthouse.  Dad X is one of those cases.

Today, Dad X told Mom X that his brother was getting married.  She offered to give Brother X a Sam's Club-sized bucket of black pepper, and Dad X laughed easily.  "Do you remember that time in Amarillo?  When his mashed potatoes had too much black pepper?" he asked.  "Yeah," she said, "we spent all night in the hospital waiting for the swelling to go down."

When we meet people only once or in isolated situations, we tend to crystallize their identities with those circumstances.  My fourth grade teacher, for example, will always be (in my mind) exactly as she was in 1993.  But hearing Mom X and Dad X talk about Brother X, I realized that these people had identities beyond their child support dispute. 

Once upon a time, they were strangers.  Then they met and fell in love.  He met her parents; she met his.  They got married and had children.  Then something broke.  They got divorced: she got the kids and he got a monthly child support bill.  Now they're stuck dealing with each other for the rest of their lives.  Each month, he promises that he's "this close" to getting a "good" job, and she promises not to kill him.

You just don't get stories like that in a securities regulation practice.

 

 

*Please note that some facts have been changed to protect anonymity and help me keep my job.  I have not, however, changed any names.  There are really characters named Mom X and Dad X.  Mom X + Dad X = Racer X.

You Make, You Pay

The first half of this summer, I'm working for the Attorney General of Texas in the Child Support Division.  A lot of people, when they hear that, ask why and try to fathom why anyone would ever want to work in the CSD.  But here's the deal: it's awesome.  I love watching people interact.  Somebody once said that family lawyers see good people at their worst.  Some of the stories are unbelievable, but that's what's fascinating.  You look at these two people and all the ugly water under their bridge, and you think, "At some point, these people were in love enough to make a baby." 

Fascinating.

I'm a monster!

I just can’t stop buying books. I bought three last night:

• Richard Matheson: What Dreams May Come
• Arthur C. Clarke: 2001: A Space Odyssey
• an intriguing anthology allegedly edited by Alfred Hitchcock, Tales of Terror

Including several other books I’ve somehow acquired recently, that brings my total up to 73 books that I own but have not read, 11 more than one week ago.

See more progress on: read every book I own

Quite Quick Quotes with Jeremy

There have been people in my life whom I would love to have silenced with this:

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

- William G. McAdoo.

Put that in your quiver of quite quick quotes for quarrels.

No Mas de Eso

So I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in three days.  On Goodreads.com, I gave it four stars out of five.  Here's my completely arbitrary quality ranking:

1. Deathly Hallows (book 7)
2. Order of the Phoenix (book 5)
3. Half-Blood Prince (book 6)
4. Prisoner of Azkaban (book 3)
5. Goblet of Fire (book 4)
6. Chamber of Secrets (book 2)
7. Sorcerer's Stone (book 1)

I thought the series got better with each book, but I think that probably the top three could be ranked in any order, and so could the bottom four.  So now I can join the ranks of the cultural elite who have read Harry Potter. 

Real Life

The New York Times reports that over 220,000 people have listened to a BBC recording from the answering machine of a soldier's family.  Apparently, he pocket-dialed his family in the midst of battle and, because they weren't home, their answering machine recorded the sounds of battle from his pocket.  Listening to that recording is an odd experience.  It doesn't sound like any of the battles I've seen on TV and not anything like I expected.  It's real life.

My Harry Potter

In 6th grade, I randomly borrowed a book from the school library, John Christopher's The Guardians.  The next Saturday morning, I plopped into our old blue recliner and started at page one.  I read about Rob's father dying and followed two steps behind as he ran from Conurb.  I helped him dig the hole under the Barrier and hid with him in the cave.  I assimilated into County life, learning archery and sweating during Sir Percy Gregory's interrogation.  And I tried to convince Rob not to betray Mike to the Guardians.  I didn't, however, notice the room gradually brightening or my hunger pangs as morning turned into noon and afternoon.  I turned the last page some time before dinner, wondering at what I'd read and why I'd never read anything like it before.  Two days later, I returned The Guardians and checked out The Prince in Waiting, where I imagined a deep blue vista of desert broken only by the bright orange glow of the Burning Lands in the distance.  That image remains with me, stronger even than some of my real memories. 

In less than a month, I read every John Christopher book our library had.  I think that's when I fell in love with reading.

Note to self: I = Me

Just in case you were wondering:

Being able to distinguish yourself from other people is fundamental to successful social relationships rather than simple interactions.

The rest can be found here.

The End Is Near

Tonight, I start Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I’m happy to be finishing the story. I’ve grown to like Harry, Ron, Hermione, and all the rest (especially, for some reason, Remus Lupin), but I’ll be glad to finish the story. Every beginning must have its end, I suppose, and now I rush headlong toward this ending. Wish me luck!

See more progress on: read the Harry Potter series

Secret Lit'rature

I have this uncanny ability to take seemingly worthless or meaningless pulp fiction (or movies or actors or whatever) and think that it's worthwhile.  But the Guardian has avenged me:

[Ian Fleming's] aim, famously, was simply to write "the spy story to end all spy stories" and he happily talked about his "pillow book fantasies of an adolescent mind." He was right. Bond does have an edge, but the novels are essentially lightweight, adrenalin pumping and frequently and gleefully absurd.

But that's not to disparage them. A good thriller is worth more than its weight in gold - more even than the multi-million [sic] industry that Fleming created. There's a magic to the brooding enigmatic James Bond, his glamorous lifestyle, his vast range of pervert foes and their crazy weapons. Fleming also has perhaps the greatest benchmark of writerly talent in spades: unputdownability.

. . . .

Whether Bond would have survived so long without the enduring film franchise is moot, but writing as nasty and unsettling as that is always going to be worth reading.

So maybe the next time I'm recommending a book to you, you'll listen, eh?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The Office, for me, is one of those shows that I love to watch but it comes on at the wrong time.  I almost always miss it when it comes on for real.  But I own the first three seasons on DVD and I'll probably buy the 4th when it comes out.  And you know what?  I like Toby.  He's my kinda guy.  (Except for his whole crush on Pam thing.  That was kinda creepy for some reason.)  Well, according to Yahoo!, the Tob-ster is a Rangers fan.

Toby likes the Rangers ... because they also try hard, but never seem to gain any respect

Hey--we just won two out of three in Oakland!  All we're asking is for a little respect when you get home (now baby).

Expelliarmus

Last fall, I saw an episode of The Office during which Michael had the office divide up into teams.  Dwight named his team Gryffindor and Jim named his Voldemort.  I decided that if Harry Potter had pervaded pop culture so much as to be alluded to on The Office, then I needed to do some reading.

The first two books were OK, but I really started to enjoy the series after reading the third one.  The fourth one, too, was pretty good, especially the scene near the end between Harry and Voldemort.  At the beginning of that scene, somebody dies.  I remember stopping and thinking that I couldn't believe a children's book had a death like that.  But after reading the fifth book, I've got it figured out.  Harry Potter ≠ children's literature.

I mean, sure, kids love it, the language isn't the most complex, and the hero is a young teenager, but it's just not children's lit.  It's far too complex and dark.  But, hey, that's real life.

Even Cinderella Gets Dumped

It's been a bad night for some readers of Alico Dreams.  The bottom half of the Western Conference bracket is set: San Antonio Spurs v. N'Awlins Hawnits.  I confess--I rooted for the Hawnits, but not because I was hoping the Spurs would play them in the semifinals--I was rooting for the Hawnits because they're this year's Cinderella.  But even Cinderella gets dumped.  The Spurs will trounce all over Chris Paul & Co. on their way to the Lakers.  (Sorry Jazz/Rockets fans.  It's just not in the cards.)  But even if not, then I'll root for N'Awlins to beat the NBA's Yankees on their way to sweeping the Pistons in the finals.

It looks like it's gonna be a good summer.

It Takes Time

Right after we got married, I found a job at a hardware store working from 7:30 to 5:30 Monday through Saturday.  That's about 60 hours a week, which, thankfully, is less than 65:

It is not possible to have a successful marriage if you work 65 hours a week.

Wow.  Not possible.  Those are pretty strong words.  I only worked there for 6 months.  I know that a few of my readers have been in the real world.  Did any of you work 65 hours a week?  How did it impact your marriage?

You can't win'm all

But at least you can have class:

[Suns coach Mike] D'Antoni drew two technicals and was ejected with 3:38 to play and his team up 104-80.

So reports ESPN in its recap.  The video highlights add that D'Antoni was arguing about who had possession of the ball after it went out of bounds.  He was probably mad that the Spurs had cut the deficit from 30 points to just 24.  Maybe he was afraid we might still win it.

Congratulations, Suns, you didn't get swept.  See you in San Antonio.

Go Spurs Go!

Famous Last Words

I read one of the greatest last lines ever the other day:

Underground, the story continued.

-Richard Adams's Watership Down.  What a great way to say "And they lived happily ever after."

Watership Down

I’ve just finished Richard Adams’s Watership Down. In the words of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

Astonishing . . . Everyone who can read English should read it.

I concur wholeheartedly. I picked it up because I heard that it heavily influences the writers of LOST, but I finished it because it’s just so good. Pick it up. You won’t regret it.

My Goodreads.com shelf of books to read is now down to just 126 books.

See more progress on: read every book I own

I like math problems, too

I read a fascinating article this morning about the psychology of stereotypes:

Past research has shown that a particular region of the brain’s frontal lobe becomes active when we detect conflict in our thinking—between an easy stereotype, say, and a more reasoned and complex view. But actually overriding stereotypical thinking requires another part of the frontal lobe. [Belgian psychologist Wim] De Neys basically wanted see if stereotypical thinking is a detection problem or a self-control problem.

. . . .

De Neys watched volunteers’ brains as they puzzled through this and similar problems [pitting statistical probability against stereotypical conclusions]. He found . . . that the brain’s stereotype detector lit up regardless of whether the subject answered stereotypically or rationally. So apparently we all detect the stereotype and recognize that it is out of sync with reality. But the brain’s inhibition center—the part of the brain that says, “No, I am not falling for that simplistic idea”—lit up only when the subjects . . . overrode the stereotype and made a calculation based on probability. Apparently some of us find the ready caricatures too tempting and use them anyway, against our better judgment.

Fascinating.  We can get past our stereotypical thinking, we just have to learn how.  Knowledge is power, eh?

Go Spurs Go II

Please forgive me.  I'm trying not to be a sore winner, but I've only rooted for a winning team once.  But my team . . . woo!!  102-96 puts us up 2-0!

I apologize to Suns and Mavs fans, but . . . I was rooting for the Raptors, the Flames, and the Capitals.  Not mention--cough, cough--the Rangers.

So the way I see it, my (sports) life sucks more than yours.

What's your favorite book?

PollthePeople.com is trying to figure out the world's favorite book, London's Guardian reports:

Scoffing at parochial attempts to find Britain's favourite book, PollthePeople.com is aiming to establish the world's number one books, films and albums - and to use a bigger sample than any previous taste survey. The target is 50,000 top fives by July, and there are strenuous efforts underway to get it built into all the most popular social networking sites.

I'm signing up tonight.  Let's show the Brits what real lit'rature is.

That is so 400 years ago

Some people think they want to be a pirate.  That can be more than a pipe dream or a day in September when you say arrr.  To make your dreams come true, just take a boat to Somalia:

Piracy was up 20 percent in the first three months of 2008, and attacks show no signs of subsiding in April. As usual, the waters off Somalia’s coast are a hot spot . . . .

You'll probably get impressed. 

Or if you'd rather be Sir Francis Drake, the Dutch Navy is escorting UN aid ships while the French and Spanish Navies are working on freeing hijacked ships.

You, too, can live a life at sea, where every one of us has all he needs.  Sky of blue and sea of green . . .

Go Spurs Go

We were playing a card game at my in-laws' last night, and my wife and her brother were being sore losers.  No big deal, but it got me thinking about how long-time Rangers fans don't have a choice but to learn how to be good losers.  We make fan-lives out of "maybe next time."

That's why I've come to love the Spurs this year.  I first liked the Spurs because I love the city of San Antonio.  But it doesn't hurt that they actually win games.  Like today's game.  I can't often refer to games in which my teams play as "heartbreakers" and smile.

By the way, I look forward to the Spurs beating the Hornets in the quarters.

Deadball Era II

There's something strange going on in Major League Baseball this year.  I haven't done the math, but it really seems like a lot more pitchers are throwing complete games.  That's probably because they're throwing fewer pitches per game, which probably has something to do with the Mitchell Report.  Now I'm just spitballing here . . .

Last night had a great game.  Rockies 2, Padres 1, after 22 innings:

Let's play 2½!

 

Colorado and San Diego did just that Thursday night and into Friday morning, slogging through a 22-inning game that was the longest in the majors in nearly 15 years.

Elsewhere in the recap, it notes that the game lasted 6 hours and 16 minutes.  That's the longest in Padres history by innings (it missed longest by time by one minute) and the longest in Rockies history anyway you count it.

Since I love pitching, it looks like it'll be a great year!

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

I try to follow Waco politics, especially who represents the 17th Texas in D.C., but I have just now learned the name of Chet Edwards's opponent in November: Rob Curnock*.  Today, we learned that Edwards is leading Curnock in funding by about $1,221,999.  As of that posting, Edwards had raised $1,288,190 to Curnock's $6,191.  I learned in my undergrad poli sci classes that experts call that an "uphill battle."  But that's OK with Mr. Curnock:

"If my opponent wants to ignore me all the way through November that is fine. That is perfect,” he [told Waco Trib reporter David Doerr]. “We’re doing what we’re doing and he can do what he does, which is bring in all the money he brings in and to do his thing. But we are going to be an issue based campaign and that is what we are going to base the campaign on through the fall.”

I'm not really sure what that means, but Republicans are sick and tired of a Republican president being represented by a long-time Democrat.  Wait--that won't be an issue in November.

 

*Note to self--When running for Congress against a 9-term congressperson, make sure Wikipedia is not the first site Google returns.

$ = (: ?

Abso-stinkin-lutely crazy.  A Wall Street Journal blog reports that a new study by economists shows that, even if money can't directly buy happiness, it can buy you the things that make you happy:

While research has also found that some of the things that make people happiest — short commutes, time spent with friends — have little to do with higher incomes, the article points out money can facilitate such things. It can allow trips to see relatives not seen in years or places never visited. (I’d say it could also help with commuting, allowing a comfortable home near work or taking a cab instead of bus, for example.) When you’re richer, the article says, you can decide to work less — and spend more time with your friends.

Doesn't this go against everything you've been taught at school and church since third grade?  It makes me question John & Paul's famous lament: "I don't care too much for money 'cause money can't buy me love."

But then I remember that I trust John & Paul more than I will ever trust an economic study to light the hall to happiness.

Credit Is Due

The Master of Ceremonies of my Secured Transactions class published an article cited by Vernon's Texas Codes Annotated after section 9.335 of the Texas Business and Commerce Code.  "Certificates of Title in Texas under Revised Article 9," by Larry T. Bates, can be found at 53 Baylor L. Rev. 735 (2001).  Some of you may or may not be aware that this very same Larry T. Bates occasionally goes by the moniker "Prof. K" or "Dee Jay § 9-324."

Did you get my pun?

Yes or No

I read recently that the essence of leadership is deciding. Good leaders decide, whether their decisions are right or wrong. That decisiveness, in the long-run, serves everybody better than taking too long to make sure you make the right decision. The Washington Post agrees:

It is time to stop playing games with judicial nominees. As senators cross swords and point fingers, seats remain empty, sitting judges get swamped, and cases drag on. Those who pay the highest price are the plaintiffs, defendants, crime victims and businesses relying on the courts to resolve disputes and dispense justice.

President Bush deserves blame for not naming nominees sooner and for ignoring the advice of home-state senators. But that does not relieve senators of their duty to evaluate those who have been nominated. The Senate last week confirmed one Court of Appeals nominee and four U.S. District Court nominees; that should be only the beginning. In the past two years, the Senate has confirmed seven nominees to the Court of Appeals; 16 such nominees were confirmed during President Bill Clinton's final two years in office. It appears unlikely that Democratic senators will match that number, but they should at least give every current nominee an up-or-down vote and expeditiously process the nominees to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 4th Circuit, where five of the court's 15 seats are vacant.

We gave the Democrats a chance to turn things around 18 months ago, but they haven't done much but be petulant and childish. We're all worse off for it. Where are Daniel Webster and Henry Clay when you need them?

This just in: North = South

There are some things you never expect to hear.  Like this:

Our pitching kept us in the games but our offense isn't getting it done. We're not getting the back-to-back hits. We're frustrated right now.

Quoth the Ranger David Murphy.*  What?  Our pitching?  Our pitching hasn't kept us in games since the Kenny Rogers Era.  Maybe not since Kevin Brown won 21 in 1992.  But I can dig it.

 

 

*Ten points if you can name the allusion.

Texas Lawyer Blog: Rhyme and reason

I love poetic judicial opinions:

Don Willett, the newest – and youngest – justice on the Texas Supreme Court, must have had the new movie “Horton Hears a Who” in mind when he wrote a concurring opinion in April 11's Lewis v. Funderburk, a medical-malpractice case that deals with a plaintiff’s submission of a second expert’s report after the report submitted by the plaintiff’s first expert was deemed inadequate. According to Willett’s concurring opinion, an extension can forgive a deficient report, not an absent report. “If reports are missed, not just amiss, courts are remiss if they do not dismiss,” Willett wrote. Now that’s poetic justice.

Texas Lawyer Blog: Rhyme and reason

But Geordi LaForge Was Awesome

I spent most of junior high either with my nose stuck in a science fiction novel or walking around the construction sites in my neighborhood making up my own science fiction.  But I'm no Trekkie, and finally somebody has figured out that not everybody who loves science fiction loves Star Trek.

Some of us loved Star Wars.

Why I recommend "You Can Negotiate Anything"

You Can Negotiate Anything

by Herb Cohen

Tonight, I finished You Can Negotiate Anything. I recommend reading the book for its countless minor lessons, but the two major lessons for me were:

(1) Everything that is produced by negotiation is subject to negotiation. Just because the store puts a sign up doesn’t mean you (or they) have to abide by it. The person with whom you’re dealing decides whether to do what you want—not the sign. So don’t be afraid to ask.

(2) Find the real problem. A lot of times when we’re negotiating, we think it’s just a matter of whose number wins, but it’s really a lot more complicated than that. Different people have different needs, and meeting both parties’ needs doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive.

At 255 pages, it’s not a terribly long book, and it reads pretty quickly. Cohen writes with wit and the lessons you learn make the time invested worth it.

See more about You Can Negotiate Anything

Rabbit = Fabled Hero

I’m making headway on reading every book I own. Last night, I started Watership Down by Richard Adams. I’m not sure what the book is about, but the characters are all rabbits (so far). I’m reading Watership Down for two reasons. First, I hear that the writers of the TV show Lost allude to it a lot. And second, an old professor of mine taught Modern Political Theory using this book as his primary text. Since I love both Lost and policital theory, I decided to pull it off my to-read shelf and put it on my currently reading shelf.

See more progress on: read every book I own

Famous Last Words

The American Book Review has placed 100 novels on its shortlist of best last lines.  In response, the Guardian's books blog wonders why we memorize the last lines of movies and immortalize the last words of our heroes, but nobody talks much about the last lines of books.  That got me thinking about it, and I wanted to share the last lines from three books that I love.  Please let me know your favorite last lines in the comments.

If you loved the Oscar-winning film version of The Godfather (and who didn't?), then you will surely love the novel.  I turned the last page with the same relish with which I had watched The Exorcist's* credits scroll:

She emptied her mind of all thought of herself, of her children, of all anger, of all rebellion, of all questions.  Then with a profound and deeply willed desire to believe, to be heard, as she had done every day since the murder of Carlo Rizzi, she said the necessary prayers for the soul of Michael Corleone.

From that classic of freshman English, Great Expectations:

I took her hand in mine, and we went out of the ruined place; and, as the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left the forge, so, the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting from her.

Finally, from one of the funnest books I ever read:

He glanced back at Beth and Harry.  They both looked tired.  Beth stared into space, preoccupied with her own thoughts.  But her face was serene; despite the hardships of their time underwater, Norman thought she looked almost beautiful.

"You know, Beth," he said, "you look lovely."

Beth did not seem to hear, but then she turned toward him slowly.  "Why, thank you, Norman," she said.

And she smiled.

Sure, you need a little context for that, but trust me, Michael Crichton couldn't have ended Sphere any better.

Again--if you've got any classic last lines, I'd love to hear them.  Put'm in the comments.

 

*The Exorcist is the most satisfying movie I have ever seen.  Maybe not the best, scariest, most exciting, or most heart-warming, but the most satisfying.

I'm Making It Official

I’m officially trying to read every book I own. I’m using two websites to help me keep track: ListsofBests.com and GoodReads.com. They also let you add widgets to your website if you have one. I’ve only got about 100 books to go . . .

See more progress on: read every book I own

Why I recommend "I Am Legend (Full-Screen Edition)"

I Am Legend (Full-Screen Edition)

Will Smith is one of my favorite actors and one of the best actors of our generation. I Am Legend should be added to his proud shelf. He plays a military virologist trying to discover the cure for a cancer vaccine that ran amok and killed about 5 1/2 billion people and turned most of the rest into “dark seekers.” Now, he seems to be the last surviving regular human, with only his daughter’s dog as a companion—but even that isn’t guaranteed forever.

Some critics have said that the monsters just aren’t scary enough, but I say that the real monster is the isolation. This is more than just another “will science go too far” movie—this is a movie about six months after we’ve gone too far.

See more about I Am Legend (Full-Screen Edition)

Paternity

No matter what the DNA test says.

via indexed by Jessica Hagy on 4/4/08

http://www.indexed.blogspot.com/

I don't think I need to say anything else.

Prophet for Profit

Whatever you may think about Michael Crichton, he's a successful novelist.  The speech I've excerpted below is written in his 1999 novel Timeline.  This may be some of his best, most poignant and eloquent writing:

In other centuries, human beings wanted to be saved, or improved, or freed, or educated.  But in our century, they want to be entertained.  The great fear is not of disease or death, but of boredom.  A sense of time on our hands, a sense of nothing to do.  A sense that we are not amused.

But where will this mania for entertainment end?  What will people do when they get tired of television?  When they get tired of movies?  We already know the answer--they go into participatory activities: sports, theme parks, amusement rides, roller coasters.  Structured fun, planned thrills.  And what will they do when they tire of theme parks and planned thrills?  Sooner or later, the artifice becomes too noticeable.  They begin to realize that an amusement park is really a kind of jail, in which you pay to be an inmate.

This artifice will drive them to seek authenticity.  Authenticity will be the buzzword of the twenty-first century.  And what is authentic?  Anything that is not devised and structured to make a profit.  Anything that is not controlled by corporations.  Anything that exists for its own sake, that assumes its own shape.  But of course, nothing in the modern world is allowed to assume its own shape.  The modern world is the corporate equivalent of a formal garden, where everything is planted and arranged for effect.  Where nothing is untouched, where nothing is authentic.

Where, then, will people turn for the rare and desirable experience of authenticity?  They will turn to the past.

The past is unarguably authentic.  The past is a world that already existed before Disney and Murdoch and Nissan and Sony and IBM and all the other shapers of the present day.  The past was here before they were.  The past arose and fell without their intrusion and molding and selling.  The past is real.  It's authentic.  And this will make the past unbelievably attractive.

Just something to think about.

The Glow of Victory

Remember the preview after last Thursday's episode of Lost?

During [the preview], we were told that we’ve met all the members of the Oceanic 6, at which point the camera cut to six different characters, including Aaron.

Bam.

We're not the Patriots

Head Coach Chris Kilsmeier (spelling unknown) told reporters before the game: "We're not just happy to be here.  We're here to win it.  We don't want to be the Patriots."

Well, nobody else has the news yet, so you'll hear it from me first.  We're not the Patriots.  We won 68-54.

THE HPU LADY JACKETS ARE THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!

And for those of you who think I'm yelling: The HPU Yellow Jackets are the national champions!!!

Sting'm Jackets!

How "The Grapes of Wrath (Centennial Edition)" changed my life

The Grapes of Wrath (Centennial Edition)

by John Steinbeck

I lost my innocence my junior year in high school, and it started with reading this book. The rose-colored glasses I had developed during the first 16 years of my life were shattered by this book. I think Steinbeck intended to shake the world of his readers, and he accomplishes it with his usual mastery.

See more about The Grapes of Wrath (Centennial Edition)

How "Ordinary Heroes" changed my life

Ordinary Heroes

by Scott Turow

This, I think, is Scott Turow’s best book. I have a short list of books that have changed my life (actually just this and The Grapes of Wrath). Perhaps my favorite quote of all time is from this book:

Who are we but the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, and believe?

Basically, the story is about a journalist who finds his father’s journal from World War II and discovers that everything he thought about his parents was wrong—but in a good way. Reading the book made me realize how little I know my own father and inspired me to consciously try to get to know him better.

See more about Ordinary Heroes

Hmm

I don't know much about managing a baseball team, but these two factoids struck me as crazy when I read them this afternoon. 

First, "Joaquin Benoit finished second on the club last season with seven wins despite making all of his 70 appearances out of the bullpen."  Hmm.  So the Rangers need pitching.  I guess that's why they got Jason Jennings (I actually like him a lot and have high hopes).

Second, I had heard rumors about Frank Catalanotto playing DH . . . but check it: not only is he playing DH but he's batting leadoff.  Does any other team have a DH in the No. 1 spot?

Why I recommend "Crash (Widescreen Edition)"

Crash (Widescreen Edition)

by Paul Haggis

This film deserved the best film award. This is not a movie about racism—it’s a movie about how complex people are. It depicts racism, yes, but, more importantly, it shows that racism is not monolithic. We learn why the racist cop is racist, but then we see him rescuing the very black woman he molested the night before. We are forced to consider her quandary: to hate her molestor or to love her rescuer. We see the cop’s partner—who asked to be reassigned in protest—deal with the fact that he killed a black hitchhiker out of fear that the kid had a gun. We see the hardworking Hispanic locksmith who tries to help a Persian client nearly lose his daughter when the Persian man thinks the Hispanic locksmith took advantage of him. And, most poignantly, we see the black detective sell his integrity to save his brother’s life, without his mother ever acknowledging it. The movie is beautiful in its poignant portrayal of life, not as black and white but as shades of grey.

Plus, you get to hear Ludacris talk about how stupid hip hop is. If that doesn’t deserve an Oscar for Best Film, I don’t know what does.

See more about Crash (Widescreen Edition)

Hate to Say I Told You So

This news is so fresh, I don't even have a link yet.  The #2 Howard Payne Lady Jackets have defeated #1 Hope Flying Dutch by a score of 53-49.  This, of course, only means that HPU gets into the Final Four (I don't get it either--how could they possibly let the two best teams (and the only remaining undefeated basketball teams in the world) play each other in the quarterfinals?), but we're now the top-ranked team in the NCAA Division III Women's Basketball Championship Tournament.  The polls should have kept as at #1 all season long instead of just that one week.

Sting'm Lady Jackets!

Why I recommend "The Martian Child: A Novel About A Single Father Adopting A Son"

The Martian Child: A Novel About A Single Father Adopting A Son

by David Gerrold

I got this book because I loved the movie. Be aware that the storylines are very different, except that they share the same basic premise. While the movie focuses on the relationship between David and Dennis, especially on the changes wrought in Dennis, the book looks introspectively at Dennis’s effect on David. As an aspiring writer and one who hopes one day to be a parent, I especially enjoyed the insights into both writing and parenting. It’s a fascinating book, and I highly recommend it. Maybe this quote sums it all up:

Explanations are useless. Explanations do not change facts. They do not make facts better. Explanations are the booby prize. You can have all the explanations you want in the world. They do not change what’s so.

See more about The Martian Child: A Novel About A Single Father Adopting A Son

Aaron the Side of Caution

The Oceanic Six are: Jack, Kate, Aaron, Sayid, Hurley, and Aaron.  At least that's my theory.  Unlike this guy, I don't think the press would focus too heavily on the passenger manifest:

Didn't earlier Lost promos state that by the end of episode 7, we'd know every member of the Oceanic 6?  If so, does that mean that Aaron is one of the Oceanic 6? . . . This, then, brings up the question of the passenger manifest.  Aaron's name wouldn't have been on it.  But, and I'm going to need some help on this, parents don't have to buy a ticket or reserve a seat for infant children, right?  Couldn't this be the reasoning for Aaron not showing up on the manifest?  Wouldn't this be enough to appease the press when the Oceanic 6 returned to the mainland?

Here's my theory:the press wouldn't care about the manifest.  At least not as much as they'd care about telling everybody about Little Survivor Baby Aaron.  Jack told us that eight people survived the crash, but only six could be rescued.  Maybe Claire is one of those two, and Kate adopted Aaron.  Or maybe something else.  I can at least say this: I don't think the passenger manifest is the issue some people thinks it is.

There.  I said it.  Next mystery.

Humpty Dumpty Indeed

Over and over again, Prof. Con Law explained that the Supreme Court changes its course by subtly changing the meaning of words.  With that idea fresh in my mind, I ran across this excellent answer by a linguistics professor to a question posed in class:

Well, the short answer would be 'Yes,' and by 'yes' I mean 'no.'

Does it get any better than that?

Consulting, huh?

Check this out: it's a PDF of an affidavit offered in support of an arrest warrant in L'Affaire Spitzer.  There have been several articles published on the Internet discussing whether Mrs. Spitzer should divorce Mr. Spitzer, but, in paragraph 6 of the affidavit, we learn that Emperor's Club V.I.P. is also known as "QAT Consulting Group, Inc."  Mr. Spitzer may not have been seeking out prostitutes for the typical reason--he could have just been trying to get some advice in that area.  And that's no reason to divorce somebody!

You really should read the affidavit.  It's got some fascinating stuff.  Paragraph 8 explains the alleged roles of the defendants in Emperor's Club V.I.P. (including pimp and madam).  Paragraphs 24 and 25 talk a little about recruitment.  I'm sure there's more, but I'm not going to do your dirty work for you.  So if you have any interest in starting an international prostitution ring, here's your chance to see how it's done.

Enjoy!

National Hypocrisy Week

OK, first we have L'Affaire Eliot Spitzer, now this?

The spills, at the Alabama Biodiesel Corporation plant outside [Riverbend Farms, Alabama,] about 17 miles from Tuscaloosa, are similar to others that have come from biofuel plants in the Midwest. The discharges, which can be hazardous to birds and fish, have many people scratching their heads over the seeming incongruity of pollution from an industry that sells products with the promise of blue skies and clear streams.

Even the environmentalists are polluting!  What is the world coming to?  Have we no one we can trust?  What's next?  PETA members running a steakhouse?  Al Qaeda promoting women's rights and religious freedom?

Moral of the story: Maybe if we all quit taking offense and tried to empathize, this world would be a better place.

Job Security

Occasionally, I think about what I want to do with my life in terms of job security, and I think there are probably two practice areas that aren't going away and aren't particularly subject to the business cycle: family law and criminal law.  The sad tale of Eliot Spitzer reassures me that the vice that underlies the conflicts in both family law and criminal law isn't going anywhere.  One Texas criminal defense attorney writes:

Here is a[n] ex prosecutor who talked of "putting a stake" through the heart of a defendant when he was Attorney General for New York. Now it is his heart at stake.

This kinda reminds me of Jim Bakker.  Wait--is Eliot Spitzer the new Jim Bakker?

Cultural Economics

There is a very interesting post out there that uses King Lear to show why people still read and watch Shakespeare:

[R]ules designed to enforce virtue tend to do the enforcing only against the poor and lowly. The wealthy and powerful . . . escape condemnation. The result is that those doing the punishing have hands as dirty as those who suffer the punishment.

 

This is a sadly familiar problem in the history of America’s culture wars. Vice crimes and morals offenses of all sorts—prostitution and gambling, liquor and drugs, abortion and sex crimes—have been enforced against blue-collar markets, not against upscale markets. That proposition helps explain the racial disparity in today’s drug prisoner population . . . .  A good deal of social science research suggests that people obey the law, when they do so, because the legal system seems fair and legitimate. Legal systems that hammer the sins of the poor while winking at the wrongs of the rich fall short of that standard.

 

Interestingly enough, [King Lear] not only diagnoses the relevant disease; it offers a hint at a cure—another, very different approach to cultural reform. Lear’s kingdom descends into chaos and civil war as those who rule it descend into deceit and barbarism. The remedy, the story implies, is not more virtuous laws, but more virtuous rulers.

He goes on to talk about how mass culture follows the example of elite culture ("It simply wasn’t possible to convince most Americans that buying a drink was a terrible wrong when the President of the United States served liquor to his poker buddies, as Warren Harding did in the early 1920s.")  It's an interesting post about whether or not you can legislate morality.

On a related note, what does this say about moral legislation and same-sex marriage?  How do politicians like Jim McGreevey play into all this?

John Boy Just Isn't Scary

So yesterday, the Missus and I watched two movies: Stephen King's It and No Country for Old Men.  I can only really say this: Pennywise just isn't as scary as Anton Chigurh (or as Joshua Brolin says, "Sugar").  Pennywise gets hit in the head with an earring and goes running scared down the drain, while Anton Chigurh breaks his arm so that his ulna is poking out, buys a shirt/sling for $100, and then walks away.

Bottom line: It may have been scary when you were six or maybe even twelve, but No Country for Old Men will always be scary because it reflects a scary piece of truth about the world in which we live.  Or maybe it's just that there's nothing scary about the Waltons.

Jeremy > Chicago

I just wanna say . . .

Thank you.

Not 4th place--3rd runner-up

I don't want to talk about this:

The Mariners’ rotation put up a combined ERA of 5.16 last season, better only than Florida, Tampa Bay and Texas. Management addressed that concern by acquir[ing] Erik Bedard from the Baltimore Orioles . . . .

I can't remember a time when Rangers' fans haven't lamented to each other: "What we really need is pitching."  But did we fight for Bedard or Johan Santana even invite some old has-been like Randy Johnson or Roger Clemens?  No.  We fought for Torii Hunter.  A center fielder.  And lost.

At least we stole Nolan Ryan from the Astros again.

Let's be frank

I know I've been posting a lot the past few days, but I'm trying a new blogging strategy.  Maybe it'll become clear in the next few weeks if the strategy holds.  Maybe not.

I always knew that King Frank (or Franklin Delano Roosevelt, as he is sometimes known) was a tough guy, but I never knew quite how tough until I ran across the following passage in my current reading:

Roosevelt kibitzed with the press as he sat in bed receiving his haircut.

Any guy knows that there is nothing quite so itchy as the back of your neck the day you get a haircut.  I can't imagine sleeping in it.  Wow.  But hey--it ain't easy being king.

So sad, but so true

Joe Posnanski, a journalist who covers the K.C. Royals (the team we fought with for most of last season for the worst record in the AL), wrote this limerick about America's Texas's Waco's my team.  So sad, but so true . . .

The search goes on for a pitch panacea
Chan Ho, Loaiza, now Vincent Padilla
The lineups, quite sadly
even with Milton Bradley
Lose 10-8 and get the idea

Anybody remember that weekend or so last year when Johan Santana struck out 18 Rangers, then we smashed the Orioles 30-3?

Yeah . . . too true . . .

Shame

Last night, we had some family over for my birthday, and, naturally, politics came up.  When my mother found out how I voted, she got pretty upset.  I stand by my vote.  Until last night, I've been pretty reticent about whom I support (or at least, I haven't come right out and said it), and I'll continue to do that.  But I will take a stand on one thing: Barack Obama is (probably*) not the antichrist.  And I think it's a despicable, fear-mongering attack unworthy of even debunking.  But for those of you who question his commitment to "traditional" (whatever that means) American values, you should read this article from Christianity Today, in which Obama is quoted as encouraging people to read their Bibles.  This quote I particularly like:

If people find [my support for civil unions] controversial then I would just refer them to the Sermon on the Mount, which I think is, in my mind, for my faith, more central than an obscure passage in Romans.

And later, on the Bible and public policy:

Which passages of Scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is ok and that eating shellfish is abomination? How about Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount - a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application? So before we get carried away, let's read our Bibles. Folks haven't been reading their Bibles

I'm not saying how I voted out of the real fear of retaliation (I have a summer job in the Department of Justice that I wouldn't mind turning into a post-graduation job).  If people had made the same attacks on Hillary Clinton or Bill Richardson or John Edwards or John McCain or Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee or anybody else, I would respond the same way.  Fear-mongering should have no place in today's America; there's enough real fear to go around without adding illegitimate fears to it.  Besides, what else did Jesus say?

Don't worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today.

Anybody who tries to keep somebody out of office by referring to him or her as the antichrist ought to be stoned, Deuteronomy-style.  Then again, I'm against content-based speech restrictions, so they can say whatever they want.  Make that stoning Dixie Chick-style.

 

 

*I say "probably" because my understanding is that nobody knows who the Antichrist is or if it's even one particular person.  And that's one bet I don't want to lose.

Viva la Democracía

I love voting.  I love all the signs set up along the streets leading up to your polling place.  I love the electricity in the air as you wait in line to vote.  I love sitting down in front of the machine and thinking "OK--this is it."  The moment of picking your future and permanently choosing whose side of the fence you're on.  The moment you've been talking about for months has arrived.  It's time to put your ballot where your mouth is.  I love it.

If you haven't voted by the time you're reading this, it's probably too late.  But it's not too late to register for November.  If you care anything about your future, get out there and vote.

¡Viva la democracía!*

 

 

*I saw this scrawled in spray paint on the side of a McDonald's outside Caracas, Venezuela, in the summer of 2002, shortly after Hugo Chavez had been deposed and reinstated.  Imagine if our gangsta thug vandalizers were politically active.

Thomas Paine, or a Royal Pain for Smart Kids

IRAC.  I do it every day.  You figure out what the issue is, determine the most appropriate rule, apply the rule to the circumstances, and get your answer.

Common sense.  I use it every day, too.  You look at a situation, stick it into your intuition, and wait for the answer to pop out.

We call the steps in the process by different names, but you usually get the same results.  IRAC just tells you why and how you got there.  Common sense is like flying up to Minneapolis; IRAC is like taking I-35.  You don't even have to know what you're doing when you use common sense, but if you don't know how to use IRAC or you don't use it right, you could end up in San Francisco after accidentally turning left in Des Moines.

I like to think about this kind of stuff.  How the brain and/or mind works.  Maybe that's why this article, comparing psychology and common sense, was so interesting to me.  Here's my favorite quote:

Ultimately what really sets psychology apart from common sense is the scientific method.

And

once psychological findings become well-known, people [might] incorporate them into their intuitive thoughts and behaviour.

And then it becomes "common sense."

Beautiful.

I love me some trufe

Fareed Zakaria is one of my favorite columnists.  If you don't read him, you should.  (I'm talking to you, Justin Scott.)  Here's a great quote from this week's column:

The facts about [free] trade have been too well rehearsed to go into them in any great detail, but let me point out that NAFTA has been pivotal in transforming Mexico into a stable democracy with a growing economy.

Here's the gist, something that countless history, economics, and political science professors have argued: People don't care about civil rights or even respect unless their stomachs are full.

I think Maslow said something similar . . .

Can she explain irony?

Three of my favorite things--irony, grammar, and Lost--come together in this from one of the many interpretive sites:

Explain the Lorentz Invariant for we English majors

Now, I don't want to get too technical, but I can tell you this: English majors modifies we, which is the object of the preposition for.  So the correct pronoun is the objective pronoun us.  I'd be willing to bet that she said "we English majors" because she thought it sounded right.

But between you and I, it's not.  I'm so bad.